Come on, it’s like getting paid $60,000 a year to camp and see the country. It’s also a way to see that this nation probably needs to be buried in cement by beings who see no use for a society devoted to the processing, distribution, and consumption of pork cheddar Hot Pockets.
From 1992-2005 I practiced some form of Landscape Architecture. But I predicted the building industry’s inevitable bust and was used to touring the country in my awful band vans, so what the Hell, why not drive a semi? Here is my warning:
First, you have to learn for five weeks how to jam gears and guide a 53ft trailer through a crowded parking lot… backwards. Today, desperate trucking companies will pay up to $5000 towards driving school tuition.
Then, say goodbye to all of your friends and family for weeks at a time.
Your new friends are:
Lot lizards- willing to do anything for drugs or a ride. These are prostitutes who apparently couldn’t cut it at mainstream whoring or walking.
Strangers on the CB- mostly talking about above mentioned professional women and how people with dark skin should probably not be allowed to vote or live.
Deer- grazing on discarded Copenhagen tins on the side of the interstate. You’ll mostly meet their entrails after being reminded that ruminants are very, very stupid animals.
Other drivers- I have nothing specifically bad to say about this collection, because it’s huge and very diverse. I have met very interesting eye docs, writers, lawyers, and dentists – all driving trucks because of the economy and / or their adventurousness.
My favorite natural group of drivers are the unusually large numbers of Sikhs. It takes big ones to drive a truck decorated with swords and Eastern religious iconography into Nebraska wearing a toga and a turban. They are super friendly and hilarious, so any xenophobes are instantly disarmed.
So, if you aren’t scared of huge equipment, hookers, salty food / language, and the underbelly of our economy… Hit the road. 
TRY THIS, IT'S AWFUL! 